Not Sure if You Have Bad Social Skills? Watch Out for These Seven Signs of Poor Social Skills

Social skills are the basis of virtually all soft skills a person might have. And, as they are akin to a muscle, you need to exercise your social skills to retain them. Signs of poor social skills might be very obscure or quite apparent, and regretfully, they always lead to suffering sooner or later.

Regretfully, some of the social credit that plays into social skills can’t be learned. Pretty privilege is very real, and if good physical appearance is combined with prowess and education, it is impossible to assume such people won’t benefit from society.

For those who are not endowed physically, what may seem like endearing behavior for those with privilege might come off as rude and disrespectful behavior. But that’s where social etiquette classes and training come into effect.

If you are conducting yourself properly, showing good manners, and showing respect to others you expect for yourself, even previously poor social skills will improve immensely.

Signs of Poor Social Skills

There is a Catch-22 of sorts when it comes to poor social skills, as those who have the gale to reprimand you of your flaws will usually share them. Those with proper etiquette training, on the other hand, will keep quiet about your flaws and simply disengage from any relations with you.

As such, poor social skills tend to perpetuate themselves. The more you are ousted from social groups, the more your skills will atrophy and the less empathy you will feel, leading to even more isolation.

A good thing is that there are ways to notice poor social skills in yourself as well. If you notice yourself doing any of the following, you should presume you have bad social skills and work on improving them post haste.

#1 Fidgeting and Looking Away

Such issues will most commonly include a phone today, and as such they are very easy to notice by yourself. If you feel uncomfortable in social situations so much that you need to take out your phone unprompted and check anything, you might have lacking social skills.

Proper etiquette entails looking people in the eyes when talking to them and actively listening. If you find yourself frequently breaking these rules and notice suffering some social stigma at the same time, it might be time to change such behavior.

#2 Talking Loudly or Over People

If we are to be completely honest, there are situations where the subject of the conversation is simply not interesting to us. Additionally, some people fail in laconic discussions and take ages to get to the point. But that doesn’t mean that we should talk over them.

If you wish to engage in a conversation, which means exchanging ideas and not talking over everyone else, wait until a question is posed and notify others that you would like to give your opinion or have a question on the matter.

Alternatively, it is better to disengage from a conversation that is not interesting to you than to disrespect the parties that may be interested in what others have to say.

#3 Missing Nonverbal Cues

It is very rare to catch yourself missing a social or nonverbal cue while it is happening. If you did so, you would probably follow it. Rather, we can notice that we have missed a cue only after the fact or by what happened during an interaction.

One of the most common silent cues is moving away from the conversation partner as an indication that you would like to disengage. Etiquette states staying a foot from the conversation partner so that they are not too close but can still talk calmly to transfer an idea.

If they step away, the worst thing you can do is to increase your volume. Rather, allow them to disengage. Otherwise, if they wish to speak with you they will go back to a respectable conversation distance.

#4 Not Reciprocating Compliments

Those with poor social skills frequently believe that they will embarrass themselves if they give us compliments. There is a fear that the compliments will be misunderstood or an opening to something more than a conversation. If you see compliments like that yourself, there might be an issue.

Especially during etiquette classes for teenagers, there is an emphasis on how to make compliments and how to receive them. Doing both is essential for any interaction, as even a simple compliment says something about your focus, interests, or standing.

But be sure to give appropriate compliments. General positive notions of appearance are welcome, but don’t ever focus on one part of the body unless you are in an intimate setting surrounded by close friends.

Similarly, while you can complement someone’s business success and prowess, never mention the monetary value of the deal.

#5 Engaging in Negative Gossip

Gossip itself can be socially acceptable if it’s done moderately and kindly. Never, under any situation, engage in negative gossip against another. If you do so, that means that you will be the subject of such gossip at a later date, and it can push you into a negative situation.

Rather, always discuss others only as an entry to a more abstract discussion. If some of your friends got engaged or married and you dislike their choice, you might comment on how it wouldn’t be your choice but that your friend seems happy and that is the only thing important to you.

#6 Lack of Empathy for Others

This point ties to the last one. Avoiding badmouthing others is not as much a question of etiquette as much as it is of empathy. One of the biggest examples of poor social skills is to use your social circle to harm someone else’s reputation.

All of your interactions need to be done with grace and kindness. If you can say something nice or indicate how even unorthodox choices have good examples, you will always be welcome to participate.

But, if you can only criticize without giving direct assistance, the patience of others will dry up quickly, and they will stop all interactions with you.

#7 Oversharing

Last, but by no means least, all of the respect, kindness, and empathy you are supposed to show to others you should primarily show to yourself. Respecting your privacy is also an important feature.

Those who follow social etiquette will avoid talking about your physical attributes, ailments, financial boons or struggles, or romantic engagements. And, if you start opening those subjects against yourself, you will only make people uncomfortable.

If you want to stop having poor social skills, stop portraying yourself as someone of a poor social standing. Talk about the subjects you know and listen to the subjects you don’t. Focus on events and ideas, and avoid talking about people in general, yourself included.